Some thoughts...

A trip down memory lane.

2007-01-10T21:46:00.000-08:00

Poland, summer of 1968.

Back then, I was only 10. Molly was only 9. Everything in the world was outside my front door. My life revolved around her. On a given day, we decided to go for a stroll in the park. We walked for five minutes, linking arms. She was my woman and I could feel manhood running through my veins. Silence. We sat on a hanging tire. Silence....
-----
Was I really a man? Could I be a man at that age? No, I couldn't. Maybe that was what I wanted to be. No, that was what I thought I wanted to be. I was only a child. A child who wanted to skip ahead of time. How foolish that was.
-----

Silcence...
Maybe we both realized that growing up doesn't have to be so much a straight line. It doesn't have to be as a series of advances and retreats. Maybe we just felt like swinging. But what ever it was, Molly and I made an unspoken pact that day to stay kids for a little while longer.

We swang and held each other in a tender embrace.

Fear

2006-06-22T04:36:00.000-07:00

When we are little kids, we're a little bit of everything we want to be. Astronaut, teacher, boxer, race-car driver... Sometimes it seems like growing up is the process of giving those things up. One by one. I'm afraid we all have, at least, one thing we regret giving up. One thing we really miss. That we gave up because we were too lazy or, we couldn't stick it out or, because we were afraid.

When we grow up, things do not change that much. Fear still stings clear and we end up giving something up. I must confess that I used to be this way, but I have changed because I see fear as something different. And I wish people would see it, too. Whenever they want to do something, they, or at least many of them, usually think it shouldn't be done because of any unfortunate outcome. It looks like the pessimist side prevails. Yeah, I guess human beings think negatively since their origin. Well, I see fear as something that motivates me. Something that boosts me in order to face danger. Let the fear of danger be a spur to prevent it. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Trees

2005-11-27T21:39:00.000-08:00

I am no member of Greenpeace, but if there is something I care about is a tree. A tree or, at least, its branches, leaves, flowers and fruits can be useful in many ways. A tree can feed you; it can protect you from the heat or the rain. It helps your breathing; without trees there is no life.

A tree can shelter a love couple from a thunderstorm, as well as provide a romantic moment, those with hearts carved on the trunk. Have you ever swung on a hanging tire? Yep, you can take a great delight in using what a tree offers you. You can use it to play hide-and-seek; you can climb it to have a better view; a tree is much more than your eyes can see. It represents a family: A family tree. You can derive much benefit from a tree, and all you have to do is watering it in return.

There are some trees in my house. They are the most appealing billboards I have ever seen.

You've got a choice.

2005-11-16T20:45:00.000-08:00

I feel there has been an upward trend in society. You may call it "personal accident", but I prefer the same old name: Suicide. It seems some people may hold such atrocity in high regard. Nonsense!!! I know some potential suicides will eventually come up with a few reasons, trying to coax you into believing they have a point. Yep, suicides may be methodical and meticulous. However, when a position is based upon reason, then the adoption of that position should be determined by the strength of reason, but I cannot find ANY convincing argument.

I'll number some of the reasons why People Attempt and Commit Suicide:

1- Firearm Availability
->Is it possible to believe some people buy a gun and shoot themselves out of "curiosity"? It's unacceptable the idea of someone who is unable to consider the likely results of his actions. Well, this is popularly known as imprudence. Anyway, bear traps are also available. Why don't they buy one and use it on their feet? I bet the damage will not be something to be too worried about. Give me a fucking break!

2- Depression
->This is the most dangerous symptom. It mows millions of lives down every year; but if treated properly, the treatment may provide great outcomes. Once you spot someone who suffers from depression, take all precautions in order to help this person: Take him to the doctor. Pills and therapy will help him overcome this problem. But, things do not only depend on family, close relatives or friends. If the person does not want to live, there is not much we can do. It's a matter of willingness. Living is worth the effort.

3- Schizophrenia, Personality Disorder, Alcoholism and Substance Abuse
->These are considered diseases and disorders, so they should be dealt with accordingly. The ones in charge of the person will play an important role on the patient's full recovery. There is always someone who cares for you, so don't you ever give up!

4- Illness and Physical Infirmity
->If you think you are unable to take care of yourself and feel you are placing a financial/physical and emotional burden on your family, why be ashamed? Don't be selfish and ask for help. If you don't like yourself, some people do. You are way more important than you think you are. You are not a disposable product :)

5- Revenge, Anger and Punishment
->This one makes me laugh. How can anyone kill himself in order to inflict pain on his beloved ones? To me, this is ironic enough, since this person will not be here to witness the damage they caused.

6- Sexual orientation and gender conflicts
->I believe a person is born homossexual, but even if the person isn't...Perhaps this citizen will have to face serious conflicts in order to understand he likes someone the same sex. But, in a free world like this, why commit suicide? Homossexuals have been gaining respect and some room in society. Things will be roughly equal in the future.

7- Loss of job or economic distress
->During hard economic times, some people who have been laid off or have gone bankrupt, cannot find a way to handle this situation. They feel unable to find any other way out other than suicide. If there is nobody to give you a hand, neither someone to lend you some cash, then you should really commit suicide! Killing yourself due to lack of money is pathetic.

8- Loss of a loved one
->When there is a breakup or a sudden death of someone beloved, some people are driven by loss to take their own lives. Have you ever thought millions lose loved ones every day but manage to go through? I myself have lost some, but I am here!!!

Gee! I know I must have forgotten reasons, but hopefully the most important are among the ones above. I hope I have made myself clear. I think suicide is a coward choice, a selfish one, or at least, not the best pick. Why simply give up? It is easy, isn't it? After falling down, stand up as many times as necessary. You have inner strength, you have people to lean on. Remember you have a choice...it is up to you :)

WOMEN: The greatest puzzle of mankind.

2005-11-09T20:40:00.000-08:00

If there is something men consider to be the gospel truth is that women
cannot be understood. They act and think in ways you cannot hope to understand. You ‘design’ a set of decisions about how to capture their heart, but most of the times they end up throwing you off balance. You spend long years with them, but, someway, some feelings seem to wear off.
Ok, ok…the time has come! Men have the power of reason! On an attempt to ease the pain that breakup involves, we ask them if they still feel like putting the effort in the relationship.

“No. I don’t know”. WHAT ? This is something new. I mean, I always figured girls knew exactly what they wanted. They know everything - they have every single detail planned. Or maybe they don't. Maybe they are just as confused as we are. Isn't that great? It’s…- it's horrible. They don't know either. That means nobody knows.

Well, I swear I tried to think of ideas in order to shed some light on the “Women” issue, but I failed miserably. I am afraid we have no choice but to submit to their every whim.

A place to go.

2005-11-02T21:10:00.000-08:00

I have come here tonight because I have something to say. There is a little piece of land, a couple of kilometers away from here. A place called Bob's house. You might have passed it on your way here or there. It is nothing special to look at. Some rooms, coloured walls, some pieces of furniture, adornments all around the place. But there is something you cannot see. Because there are some things you are not able to see with your eyes. You have to look at them with your heart. It was my teens, it has been my adulthood...and his...and hers...

At that special place you find people you can turn to, friends you can count on. You can find a middle-aged man who pats your hair down when you get there, a man who cheers you up when you are feeling blue, someone who is honest enough to say you look awful that day. Once and again, certain things can only be seen with the eyes of love.

Every human soul deals with loss and grief in its own way. The important thing is to not forget the bonds of memories. All the places have their memories. All the people, too. Don't let these memories lose their meaning. They are a natural part of our lives. Our world is a place too careless with its memories. I beg you: Do not allow them to sink into oblivion.

Referendum

2005-10-24T00:15:00.000-07:00

Gun trafficking has 'always' posed a major problem in our country. I must confess that when I heard the Government would hold a Referendum on Disarmament I got a bit enthusiastic about the idea. Nevertheless, after thinking it over, I figured out there was something behind the scene, in between the lines. Politicians, specially ours, have never had the slightest intention of helping the citizens, so I pondered: What was all that hustle and bustle for?

It was crystal clear! They were diverting people's attention away from the real problems, misleading many into believing we had the power to choose something whereas they, who are the ones in charge, should have done the real thing.

The results are already in. As expected (at least by me), nothing changed and never will. Millions were spent, millions were deceived. Now, It will be funny to see how many people will be proud of their gestures; how many will boast about their 'YES' and 'NO'.

I have definitely lost faith in my country and the end of the tunnel is dark as a dungeon.

Revelation: The Astounding Resemblance

2005-10-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

Ok! Let me keep the serious posts aside for some time and head for a 'comic' moment.
------------------------------
I have a hunch Adilson's coverage policy has failed miserably. As an aftermath, his innermost secret has been brought to the surface.

Adilson and Mr.Bean have always grown apart. Right after delivery, their parents decided to put one of the babies up for adoption. Luckily, Mr.Bean was picked up by an English couple and has been living in England since then.

Aside from his Brazilian brother, Bean has always been involved in acting. He naturally developed his gift for performing in humorous films and sitcoms, namely his well-known "The Mr.Bean Show". He is aware of his twin brother, but has showed no interest in meeting him personally.

On the other hand, Adilson has always lived off teaching. Having taught for over 20 years, he feels it is time to move on to a higher position. Despite his current situation, he is a responsible and happy man. Lately, he has been attempting to become a professor. However, while his goal remains unattainable, he has been making do with his Post-Graduation course.

Turning his greedy eyes towards Bean's inheritance wouldn't be a bad idea, would it? :P

--------------------------

P.S.->Adilson is my boss.

A Lifelong Friendship

2005-10-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

You run into an old friend who you have not seen for ages. Then you start talking about your old memories together and how life used to be when you were close. All the adventures, all the mishaps that made you burst into laughter or maybe even into tears. You remember, back then, you commited yourself to something: that no matter what happened, nothing would ever tear your friendship apart. It was a promise full of passion, truth and wisdom. It was the kind of promise that can only come from the hearts of the very young. But time is ruthless and you end up going where life takes you. She had to move. Now life would lie in one extreme: The philosophy of the loner. It was sort of drastic, but what can you expect from a 14-year-old boy?

Over the course of lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin. Some weave their way through your life and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a permanent place in your heart.

Today, unavoidably, life did its job one more time.

Children's Day

2005-10-12T14:38:00.000-07:00

When you are a kid, eveything is simple. You believe in Santa Claus, flying reindeer and gifts appearing out of the blue by the window. It is a time of miracles and magic. Then, you get older. Somehow, things start to change. The magic begins to fade. Until something happens that reminds you, during Children's day, that miracles can still be found. Sometimes, they are to be found in the most unexpected places.
Today I gave my younger brother a comic book. He simply loved it. In the afternoon, he woke me up with 'his' gift. He gave me a candy.
I stood there, motionless. I gave him a hug. Someway, I realized he thought I was a child, too. And, for a split second, I felt like a kid I had once been.

Happy Children's Day :)

Farewell

2005-10-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

The academic universe is a series of twists and turns. Things do not always turn out the way you expect. When you graduate, you feel happy and a little bit relieved. After all, all those tests, lectures, seminars, presentations made you feel under pressure. The funny thing is, when you are gone, you start to miss it. Even so, you manage to stay in touch with most of your friends and, occasionally, with some teachers. I never thought I would write this, but this is the plain truth.
Well, I believe some teachers never die. They, somehow, live with you in your memory. They are there when you arrive, they are there when you leave the room. Once in a while they teach you something...maybe not that often. You never really know them, not more than they know you. Still, for a while, you believe in them. And, if you are lucky, there is one who believes in you.

Goodbye Luíza. Hopefully I will be able to drop by some day to see how things are going on. :)

Does war pay off?

2005-09-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

->Five people in the kitchen having dinner and discussing about the Vietnam War. I figured I should write about an old war. A war is just a war<-.
-------------------------------
Brad-It's such a shame a kid has to die for basically no reason.

Mr. Jack-I don't think it's meaningless when a young man dies for freedom.

Brad-I just had a little travel just to find dying for government that represses its citizens...

Mr. Jack-What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Judy-It means that the USA government is responsible for the oppression of blacks, women, free speech...

Mr. Jack-...or perhaps, little lady, you would like to live in Russia for a while. I have to believe that freedom and democracy are worth the price. That's what Vietnam is all about.

Brad-No, Man. That's what they brainwashed you to believe it is. I think the ones who support the war in Vietnam are having the wool pulled over their eyes. Just like they did in Korea...

Mr. Jack-What the hell do you know about Korea? I was in Korea and lost a lot of good friends there.

Judy-Dad, it doesn't have anything to do with what we were saying.

Mr. Jack -and they weren't brainwashed. They were brave man who weren't afraid to fight for what they believed in. You are afraid to fight...why don't you just say...why don't you just admit you are a chicken?

Brad-You are damn right. I am a chicken. I don't want to die like your friends. What do you think you achieved over there? Do you think those people are free? No man, except for Coca-cola. You were used man, your friends were used.

Mr. Jack-That's crap!!!

Kevin and Paul-Calm down daddy...

Judy-Dad, you never listen to what we say, but what we say is true.

Brian-Don't accept all this death and justify it. It is wrong! Your friends should be alive. They should be enjoying dinner and arguing with their kids just like you are.

Mr. Jack-How do you know about it? Who the hell are you to say that?

Brian-Do you see this man? This is my draft notice. In two weeks I can go to jail, I can go to Canada or I can go get shot full of holes like your friends. You keep thinking the way you do Mr. Jack, and these two will be the next ones. I just hope that's what they want. Excuse me...

------------------------
Marcelo Almeida dos Reis - (Múmia) - inspired by "Farenheight", brainwashed American soldiers and civil casualties at Iraq War.

Boarding Gate: Train

2005-09-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

Interesting. Our life is like a train trip, full of boarding and disembarkations, small accidents on the way, pleasant surprises on boarding and sadness on arrivals.
When we are born, we board a train in which we meet many people. We believe these people will travel with us till the ‘end’. It is not true. Unfortunately, at any station, some will get off the train. During the trip, interesting people may join us. But, as time goes by, many will leave us and we will miss them. Others will remain inconspicuous. Some priceless passengers are in different wagons. It means we will travel apart from them. However, making the necessary effort, there is no way these will be unreachable.
This is how a trip is supposed to be: Full of surprises, unpredictable. We know there is no turning back. Let us go on this trip the best way we can. The great mystery is that we do not know when we get off.
I know that, when I leave the train, I will miss all the people a lot. But I hold on to my hope that one day, at any moment, I will be at the main station waiting for the ones I had to say goodbye.

My Precious

2005-09-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

My Precious
Originally uploaded by marceloalmeidadosreis.

Well, there is not much to be said here. This photo was taken at Bob's house. We were looking through the window and this spaceship came out of nowhere. This picture is the explanation for that notorious sentence: "Here comes the storm".

In the Blink of an Eye

2005-09-19T02:35:00.000-07:00

I remeber when I was a child. I hope you, too.
Yep. Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you are in diapers; next day you are gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house like a lot of other houses, a yard like a lot of other yards on a street like a lot of other streets. I remember my friends, the 'hide and seek' we used to play, my toys and my quarrels with my brother. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back with wonder.
Perhaps my childhood was not really this way, but this is the way I like to recall.

The Birth-Day Phobia

2005-09-13T02:16:00.000-07:00

Yep. I am turning 23 today.
I have unique parents, great brothers, I have professional stability, a degree in Languages, awesome friends and many other things a person at my age would like to have. So, what else would I long for?! Well, today I decided to figure out why I loathe my birthday. Honestly, this is a risky undertaking.
Whenever I picture the scene of my relatives and friends singing the legendary "Happy- Birthday-to-you" song, sipping sodas, devouring appetizers and slicing the cake I get goose bumps. Before you ask me, I have always been like this since I was a little child. I am afraid I have developed a new kind of phobia, the 'birthdayphobia'.
Perhaps the problem is not the ceremony itself but the date. 13 has always been a cabalistic number. However, it has never bothered me. In fact, it is my lucky number. Unlike me, some people may find it awkward. No wonder they keep sending me 'happy birthday' e-mails in advance. If my birthday is on September 13th, why do MOST of my friends send me congratulations on the 12th?! Some would claim they do it because there is a chance they might forget the precise date. I am afraid not. The number 13 is already inserted in people's mind as something that will provide them anything but a piece of luck. Whether there is a conspiracy behind this number or not, I feel I am about to find out.
In some hours my birthday will take place here in my house, everybody will be showing up and I will be 'eagerly' expecting them. I still haven't found what I wrote this text for, and, hopefully, later at night, I will not be taken aback by my own reaction.

THE PARADOX OF A LIAR

2005-09-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

Somebody says:

-I am a liar.

If he is really lying, that means he is telling the truth. But, as a liar, his assertion is false. That, for me, sounds padoxical. On the other hand, if he is not a liar, he will be lying. But, he is not a liar. Once and again, there comes another paradox.
I think a liar does not lie whenever he speaks.

-"Believe me: I am a liar".